


wages earned and lessons learned

by apolloxbvcky



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura (Voltron) Lives, Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Based on a Taylor Swift Song, F/M, Gay Keith (Voltron), Heartbreak, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Oblivious Lance (Voltron), Pining Keith (Voltron), Post S8, Protective Shiro (Voltron), Shiro is the big brother I deserve, Songfic, Unrequited Love, but at what cost, you know when you have to see the love of your life marry someone else? this is that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:49:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28883448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apolloxbvcky/pseuds/apolloxbvcky
Summary: A diner, some news, and a conversation between two brothers.
Relationships: Allura/Lance (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 38





	wages earned and lessons learned

**Author's Note:**

> Based on right where you left me by taylor swift

Keith barely realizes Shiro is near him until he’s occupying the seat in front of him, where his sight has been fixed for the better part of the last hour.

His brother doesn’t say anything at first, and Keith knows it’s because he’s expecting him to speak up first. Well, that’s not going to happen; he should know by now. 

He turns away from Shiro, staring out the window of the diner they’re at. There aren’t a lot of them left. The Galra invasion destroyed everything. This diner used to be the bottom floor of a school, Keith had learned a few months prior, one day the owner, a woman whose son gave everything up to join the Garrison troops, and lost his life in the process; had taken pity on him and sat with him, just to talk. 

The owner - Dolores, but they called her Deedee, had tried to take his mind off whatever was bugging him that day, and even though Keith isn’t usually comfortable with strangers, she had filled him with a warmth he never expected to feel anymore. They bonded over what they had lost in the war, what they expected to get back, and what they knew they never would. 

Deedee had lost her family, and her home. Keith had lost his youth, and his heart. 

“I assume he’s called you.” Shiro says, and it comes out as a question more than an affirmation. Keith doesn’t answer, taking another sip off his coffee, that’s long since gone cold. “Keith. Talk to me, please. I need to know you’re alright.”

“I’ll be fine.” Keith spits out. Shiro sighs, then takes a deep breath, closing his eyes.

“Do you want to talk?”

Keith shakes his head, setting the white mug back on the table. It’s raining outside, and it all seems so cliché, how the weather accompanies his feelings, how he ordered this disgusting coffee only to make himself feel even worse. 

How he’s still here, even after all this time. 

“No.” he replies. 

“Well,” Shiro says, leaning back on his couch, and looking out the window too. “I’m not leaving until I’m sure you’re okay.” 

“Suit yourself.” Keith answers. 

Then there’s silence. The only noise is the one made by the water droplets on the glass of the window, and the soft music that comes out from Deedee’s old radio. Keith doesn’t know the song, but he’s sure  _ he _ would.

He always knew all the songs.

Shiro shifts on his seat, and Keith knows it’s a matter of minutes before he tries to pry a feelings-conversation from him again. 

He understands why his brother cares so much, and he’s really grateful, but he wishes Shiro would just leave him be. Not only him, but also his husband, and Pidge, and Hunk, and his mother, and simply everyone in the world.

He wishes he could take Kosmo and leave the place, but his friends would travel the whole universe until they found him. They are so relentless, when they want to be, they would find a way to bring back the lions and form Voltron without him just so they could track him. 

“Keith.” And there it is, Shiro is trying to place his hand on Keith’s forearm, which only makes him shift further away from him. “You knew this would happen someday. We all did.”

“I know.”

“Keith, please. Talk to me. I’m worried about you.”

“I said I’ll be fine, Takashi.” 

That shuts him up: Keith never uses his first name unless he’s very, very angry; or very, very scared. And right now? Right now, he’s both of them.

He’s angry at the world, and him, at himself. He’s angry at the world for always trying to make it hard for him, at him for abandoning him like this, and at himself for not doing anything sooner.

And he’s scared; scared that he won’t have a second chance, that this is what his fate was all along: feeling sad, miserable, and hating himself.

Shiro sighs again, and Keith sees from the corner of his eye how he shakes his head and crosses his arms on his chest. 

“I just think if you talked about this with someone… it doesn’t have to be me. Maybe a professional? Therapy is good, you know how much it helped me after we came back and…” 

“Maybe I just don’t want to talk to anyone.” 

“You can’t keep bottling your emotions, Keith. They’ll end up exploding inside you.”

“Perhaps then you will all leave me alone.” 

“Keith.” 

“Fine. You want me to talk? I’ll talk. Do you know why I always come here? Do you really want to know?” he says, staring right into Shiro’s eyes. “Because this is the place where my hope finally died, where I realized nothing I had ever dreamed about would come true. This is the place where I realized the guy I’ve been in love with for almost ten years would never love me back, because he’s in love with someone else, married to someone else,  _ having a baby _ with someone else.” he punches the table. “This diner, this very booth, is where Lance brought me to show me the ring he bought for Allura. This is where he broke my heart in a thousand pieces and never even found out. Because I had to be the bigger person, for his sake, for Allura’s, and for the sake of all of us. Because I’ve had to be happy for them, because my feelings don’t matter more than theirs, and much less more than the fate of the universe. I had to see Lance and her starting their relationship while we were still fighting the war, I’ve had to keep seeing them fall in love while we’re trying to rebuild everything the Galra Empire destroyed. Nothing, not even how I feel, not even my unrequited love for Lance McClain is more important than that, so stop acting like it is, Takashi.” 

Shiro, frowning down at his little brother, moves his hand once again, placing it on top of his gloved one. “Keith…”

“He wants me to be the baby’s godfather. He thinks since I’m his best friend I’m supposed to… Allura said it’s a great idea, too. Now we’re all a big family. Lance and I, a family.” he snorts. “Yeah, it makes sense to me that it would happen like this.” 

“Keith, I know how you feel but…” 

“No, Shiro, you don’t. I know you’re trying to be empathetic, but you simply don’t. You don’t know what it’s like to see everyone around you move on, finding their person, getting married, doing what humans are supposed to do in order to keep their lives on track; while you’re stuck in the same place for years because someone else decided you had to. You don’t know what it’s like to find your person when you’re fucking eighteen, only for them to find someone else years later; making you realize you’re just the odd one out.”

“You’re not the odd one out, Keith. You’ll find someone else, and-”

“That’s the thing, Shiro. I can’t.” he takes another sip of his coffee before he talks again. “I tried to leave. I tried to leave with the Blade, years ago, permanently. There are more important things for me to do out there than here. My mom is out there, Kosmo is better out there. I should be better out there. Then I thought about leaving him behind. Never getting to see his eyes again, hear his laugh again, and I… I couldn’t. I couldn’t live a life where he’s not there. I couldn’t, and I wouldn’t want to. I’d rather have my heart broken a little bit more every time I see him with Allura than missing him.” he sighs, running a hand through his hair. “You don’t understand, Shiro. It’s like I’m bound to him. It’s like we’re… linked together, somehow. Like I orbit around him, like he’s constantly trying to pull me in and I can’t do anything but let myself be pulled. And I just- I can’t move on. And it feels like I’m frozen in time, but no one else is. Like I’m supposed to just sit and watch all of you be happy and create your lifepath, like I’m just the audience on the show of your lives.”

Shiro doesn’t answer, for a while. Keith just looks down at his mug, now empty. He has tears rolling down his eyes, and he wipes them with the back of his hand, feeling the scarred skin on his cheek. He sobs when he notices Shiro’s arms around him. Somehow, at some point, he’s gotten up and moved to the couch Keith is sitting on, and now they’re pressed together, their thighs touching and Keith’s head on his shoulder. 

“I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through all of this all alone. But I’ve told you I’m here for you several times. I know you don’t like sharing your feelings, Keith, but… I will do everything I can to make sure you’re okay, always. There’s no one in my life that’s more important than you, you should know this by now. I would give up everything for you.”

“You don’t mean that.” Keith whispers.

“Okay, almost everything. Not Curtis, but only because I know he would give up everything for the both of us if prompted. Keith… we’re a family, and family supports each other.” Keith doesn’t reply. “I don’t know what you should do about Lance. I don’t think there’s nothing you can do about it. But he’s happy with his life, and I know he’s happy because you’re in it too.” 

“I know he’s happy. And I want him to be happy. If Allura is what makes him happy, then Allura should be the one by his side. I just wish…” he sobs. “I just wish I had been enough for him. I just wish he had loved me instead.”

Shiro nods, and places his chin on the top of Keith’s head. “I know, Keith. I know.” 

Another sob, and a tighter grip on Shiro’s shirt. 

The older man runs his hand up and down his brother’s back, comforting him, but there’s nothing he can do.

Lance left his brother’s path a long time, and Keith still stands right where he left him.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm... sorry? 
> 
> you can come yell at me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/redpaladinzuko) or [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/stuckylovers)
> 
> and if you like my work and would like to support me, you can [buy me a coffee](https://ko-fi.com/marvelousmers)


End file.
